Regain control by letting go of your desire to be in control

TJL #96

Feb 28, 2021

Surfing Saturdays: Teahupo'o, The Heaviest Barrel in the World in Super Slow Motion - SnowBrains.com

This is a story from the book Busy. The story tells us what we can learn from surfers about staying sane in today’s information overload age.

On August 17, 2000, Darrick Doerner was riding his Jet Ski in some of the roughest, most dangerous waves in the world: Tahiti’s Teahupo’o break. Described as a freak of hydrodynamics, Teahupo’o creates waves of almost unimaginable power and ferocity—pummeling tubes of water that crash onto a shallow, razor-sharp reef. You might think Doerner was nuts, but what about the man he was towing behind him! Laird Hamilton, his feet strapped to a surfboard, was being accelerated onto a wave that was too big and too fast to catch without a tow, a wave that even in the world of big-wave surfing was a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. Doerner realized the wave was deadly and turned to shout, “Don’t let go of the rope,” only to see that Hamilton had already released it.
Hamilton raced down the face of the wave, keeping just ahead of the treacherous barrel. The wave was so potent, he started to get sucked up in it. In the moment, Hamilton improvised, sticking his trailing hand in the water to slow his rise to the deadly crest. As the wave collapsed, Hamilton disappeared, seemingly caught in the explosion, only to emerge, after agonizing moments, still standing.
Like the waves at Teahupo’o, the information tsunami leaves us feeling insignificantly small and powerless. There was a time, in the not so distant past, when “being on top of things” was not only realistic, but expected. Those days are gone. However, you could gain a sense of mastery by adopting a different mental model. Mastery is less like the meticulous control of the wedding planner, managing everything like clockwork, and more like the experience of a great surfer, skillfully and joyfully carving out a great ride in the face of Poseidon’s might. Calmly watching the waves roll by before selecting the best rides, and riding those waves with deep immersion and concentration. The mastery of a surfer isn’t about control. Once on the wave, facing the full force of the ocean’s power, Hamilton was never going to control that monster, but neither was he overwhelmed by it.

This story illustrates three essential lessons big wave surfers can teach us:

First, we have to let go of our desire to be in control, and of the relative safety of responding to everything and everybody.
Second, we have to make some tough, even brutal choices. No surfer can catch every wave, so we have to get really good at choosing which wave to catch.
Finally, mastery happens when we are able to move from a sense of drowning to one of deep immersion; when we are able to manage and focus our attention, rather than allowing it to be scattered and split.

It’s impossible to be on top of everything in today’s hyperconnected society. There’s simply too much for us to be on top of. No surfer can catch all waves, make choices about which waves you want to catch. Regain control by letting go of your desire to be in control.

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